Dear Barrier Pest Control,
Maybe you’ll remember me. My name is Webster. I’m the web designing spider that wrote to to you asking for leniency after I found out the person I accidentally caught in my web hired you to terminate me, my friends and family. You obviously didn’t grant me my request. Perhaps you couldn’t read creepy-crawly (in which case you won’t understand this letter either). But because you are spider experts I’m guessing you ignored my request knowing we’d be happier on this side. Who knew you serve people AND spiders! You people really are amazing! On behalf of my family and friends, we’d all like to thank you!
Spider heaven is amazing! My whole family is here! Including my mom and dad, who as you recall, were quite dysfunctional on earth. That’s a thing of the past! We don’t eat each other anymore! But oh, the flies! We eat until our heart’s content! I believe our heaven doubles as fly hell! It’s amazing! And you should see the webs! It’s nothing like you’ve ever seen on earth. Everything is covered with them! Speaking of webs, I’m still a web-designer and my work is art! My latest masterpiece is a self portrait the size of a large man-pool! And when I want to create another one a new parcel of land appears and I fill it! Heaven supersedes any expectations I ever had!
Of course, I don’t need to tell you all this. You people really know your stuff! You’re truly incredible.
Thank you again, Barrier Pest Control! You are our angels!
Webster and his plethora of family and friends
Blog Courtesy of Trina from Barrier Pest Control